let alone be left alone

2007-06-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

2007-06-10T12:10:00.000+08:00

imagine you are having a pot luck party... or any party... each individuals suppose to bring some cooked food... or else... being assigned to do something... everyone has to play a part to make the party work...

theres only 2 kind of people in this situation...
1. coming to the party and do nothing...
2. being a part by preparing stuff...

for your information... if you are the former...
i... kennypang... DESPISES YOU...

i just realised... my bunch of winnie the poohs... happens to fall under the 1st category...

2007-05-31T02:38:00.000+08:00

no longer does it feels the same...
that bond... that cheeky smile whenever we see one another... those inside talks...

no longer would i bother...
to ask... to care... to speak... to tell...

even meeting up every single day...
the words that came out of our mouth seems...

mmm...

2007-05-25T09:55:00.000+08:00

well... i guess i have been hibernating enough... i cant seem to not go work on weekdays... its just atypical... by now i should have already done my stupid morning reports... and slacking around preparing to make phone calls... anyway... thanks people for the concern... appreciate it...

2007-05-21T23:10:00.001+08:00

i understand the importance to start saving now... especially when me and jubjub are really trying real hard to settle down... but thinking about the other deadweights that i had to face... i guess... since elder brother and i are considered working adults... not only should i learn to be dependant... we should obsolete mom and dad being the sole breadwinners...

i will be still opening the savings account...
specially for jubjub and myself...

2007-05-20T01:53:00.000+08:00

i kind of enjoy the quality time i spend with myself... just once a week will do... there isnt a need to speak... to listen... to care... to think... ... ... ... ...

2007-05-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

currently stuck at huishi house...

the wants or the needs...
what one desire might not be necessary... for instance... i would love to have a burberry wallet... BUT... thinking about petrol and phone bills... my yearnings were pushed backwards... backwards... and further back again... thus unable to satisfy my WANTS... FUCK...

humans are basically born into this damn world to suffer... never would i take it as a gift to be in this hypocritical working environment when i myself know im 50 percent fake... or more... trying to have a good impression with practically everyone but at the same time... feel like stabbing them real hard in the heart...

being stuck at huishi house... at least there isnt any hypocritical act... knowing everyone inside out... i could at least breathe in some fresh air... now everyone seem to be crowding around the laptop checking out what im posting about... haha...

by the way people... i lost my phone at zouk yesterday... so please... do me a favour...
STATE DOWN YOUR BIG NAME WHEN YOU SMS ME...

yup yup... peijian bought me a NEW LIGHTER... she thought i lost the one jack gave me... and currently jacks lighters stuck at terence house... no big deal... i got 2 lighters now... HAHA...

2007-04-29T02:48:00.000+08:00

just before i head to bed...

i received my damn enlistment letter... and to my disappointment... i have been sent to tekong... fuck... was really praying and hoping that i would either end up in police or civil defence... guess i have no luck in any of it... IM ENLISTING ON THE 14 SEPTEMBER... long way to go... and lots of time to accompany my jub... YEAH... haha...

anyway... i was making a comment with fookai and junwei just earlier while sending them home... i have this gut feeling... that 10 years down the road... after jubjub head in to bed... i would be drinking beer with yongquan at coffee shop... haha... and if i were to meet up with tongliang or jack... it would be at some high class bar drinking either whisky or wine... for the rest non alcoholic drinkers... would be at some restuarant or bar where they offer coke... haha...

lifes been a dread lately at work... yes... i understand theres an upgrade in status to make calls to infinite customers... whom practically showed malevolent attitude with every single calls i make... its an honoured to be assigned to do such projects... when its definite that temp staff are actually not allowed to make calls to them... but... as days go by... and slowly seeing my commission decreasing every moment... its demoralising knowing that if i were to continue the projects that i had previously... i would without doubt earn more than what i am now... this doesnt include the admin job i have to juggle with as well...

on the other hand... that faggot have been achieving good results... no matter how much i dont want to admit to it... im seriously proud and happy for him... hes been well recognize and hopefully... the next better candidate to suffer the infinite customers... IF THERE HAPPENS TO BE ANY PROJECTS BEFORE HIS ENLISTMENT...

my demands and expectations been increasing... yet... im not sure if i would want to spend the money to buy such luxurious products to satisfy my needs... pondering...

2007-04-21T12:24:00.000+08:00

8 years ago...
conversations were about how dumb we were when we were young... or how fortunate we were having gameboys or other computer gadgets...

4 years ago...
conversations were about how stupid we looked... trying to attract the whole damn schools attention... boasting how tough we were and how brainless we can get...

1 year ago...
conversations were about clubbing... night life... drinking... puking... and revising the whole of poly life... secondary life... and even primary life...

right now...
conversations are about OUR future... our job...

2007-04-08T12:02:00.000+08:00

i seem to be really losing track of what im doing every single day...
i like the idea that im singing k every week with the familar faces...
i like the idea that im still meeting the guys every weekends...
i like the idea that im hanging out with my colleagues after work...
i like the idea that im meeting jubjub almost every day...

but still...
i doubt i really have enough time with her...

4 out of 5 stars... it aint that hilarious... but its the storyline thats interesting...

4.99 out of 5 stars... superb... the 0.01 was because i was too engross and totally forgotten i bought a lollipop to suck on... haha... worth watching...

2007-03-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

ive been working aimlessly earning commission which might not even cater to any needs... then i realise theres backfire which leads to low productivity... okay... maybe not low... but just not the usual standard... i need some motivation to get my ass up... and hit the damn target...

tomorrow... a whole new attitude...
THE AIM... lacoste polo and a gucci wallet... and that will BE MY MOTIVATION to strive for top... as well as the MONEY...

2007-03-11T00:41:00.000+08:00

ONE WEEK PASSED... movies watched since saturday...

except for this... i actually watch this during my exam period... i would say... the previous rocky balboa movies were much better and outstanding... rate this 3 out of 5 stars...

superb... 4.25 out of 5 stars...

people like me cant seem to appreciate jack neos movie... its lame... cold... and dumb... 2 out of 5 stars...

i didnt know what actually made me watch this movie with the guys... but... it turn out alright... not bad actually... just that the blood seems like its free of charge and that only 299 died... not all 300... haha... 3.5 stars out of 5 stars... i guessed...

then i finished watching 2 different series...
i decided to re-watch ENGINE upon knowing channel Us going to show it... not suitable for cry babies... girls like my jubjub and angel will practically cry in every episode... haha... its more of kids... not those relationship disgusting lovebirds series... worth wasting my time...

LAME... neither here nor there... total waste of time... xiu yi still didnt find out shes a she... and thats the only part im looking forward to in the whole damn series...

bought a book... the pursuit of happyness... i reckon the movies going to be a little draggy... yet theres no company to watch it with me... nevermind... i guess the books going to be much more interesting than the movie...

theres... MAHJONG... CHALET... POOL FOR AN HOUR till my whole damn finger got kind of dislocated... SLEEPING... READING COMICS... JOB INTERVIEWS... SHOPPING...

i wasted my entire week resting too much...

NEXT WEEK... if i didnt get the damn job... oopz... joanne should be smart enough to understand this now... haha... HOPEFULLY... THEMEPARK... FINISH THE DAMN BOOK... K-ING... MORE MOVIES... MORE JOB INTERVIEWS... MORE SLEEPING... MORE MAHJONG... AND I WANT A SENTOSA CHALET... haha...

remembering i was stuck with tongliang and peijian for practically the entire 2 years in secondary... till the sudden depart as we head to different schools... even though we were still close buddies as before... but it was never the same...

i was prepared for the same this time round... thats why i kept my ego high...

AND I LOVE MY BABY...

2007-03-03T16:20:00.000+08:00

FINALLY...

EXAMS ARE OVER...
SCHOOLS OVER...
EVERYTHINGS OVER...

i reckon my results going to be like crap... due to the constant celebration during CNY... and the total lack of revision and studying... im pissed... not because of the results... its because of the lack of determination and self discipline...

im taking a break...

2007-02-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

its already the 4th day of Chinese New Year... and i have yet to play a decent round of mahjong... WHAT THE HELL... IM DEPRIVED... haha... the past 3 days were fruity...

day 1...
the usual visiting... and meeting up with THE COUSINS for late night activity... this time... everyone brought their partners except for my younger brother and me... jubjubs not really comfortable hanging around with people shes not familar with... poor me...

day 2...
i had to drag her to my grandmas house... shes too frightened to even walk near the house... but i love my baby for the courage... after the usual... we headed to JIAHUIs house... NO WORDS CAN ACTUALLY DESCRIBE HOW BIG HER PRIVATE ESTATE WAS... putting mine besides hers... its like comparing a peanut with an egg... theres SATAY MAN... FONDUE... BANQUET STYLE... etc etc etc... and i lost a little on black jack... cause jubjubs first word was LATER LOSE HOW...

day 3...
visit to my form teachers place... well... i dare to say i have no affectionate with any teachers since primary school... but it turn out quite alright... LEON PEIJIAN WESLEY JUNWEI and ME were the pathetic few... then it was off to ah kengs house... mahjong session only lasted for awhile... due to the lack of legs... and a little chaotic due to some... drunkard...

I HAVE DECIDED... i gave up on my exams... i got practically no interest... no determination... no enthusasim...

ive been having the exact thoughts...
hoping next friday would be memorable...

2007-02-17T23:29:00.000+08:00

AFTER SO LONG OF NOT BLOGGING...

i realised... i no longer know how to blog... HAHA...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR... IN LESS THAN AN HOUR...

2007-01-29T09:11:00.000+08:00

BULLSHIT...

2007-01-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

the grudges i bear for one didnt cease that much... yet another one was about to be created for another...

with no authority... no ability... no capability... im unable to build a wall... to prevent those harmful attacks... poisonous cuts...

its not about the ignorant...
its not about the impulsiveness...
its not about the stupidity...
its not about the issue...

its about the consequences...
its about the pain she will suffer...
its about the heartbroken look...
its about the best shes giving... yet receiving the worst...

i seriously gave up on IFT... yet realising... i have no one to push this burden to...
the thought of looking at her...
the thought of her finding out the dark secret...
the thought of her giving up...
breaks my heart...
deprive me from the energy i had for anything else...

2007-01-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

10 reasons why i dislike...

1. year 3s projects are killers...
2. im deprived of sleep due to all the deadlines...
2. i have modules such as IFT and INVESTMENT...
3. attachment totally destroyed my life...
4. you need to have excellent grades to get into local universities...
5. the food sucks...
6. its always examinations during Chinese New Year...
7. my 3 year educations been shorten to 2 and a half years... paying the same amount...
8. the buzzing bees redundant... including the modules she teach...
9. tutorial classes are small... which makes sleeping during class difficult...
10. TRANSPORTATION FEES ARE EXPENSIVE... cab... car fuel...

ive always find myself dumb choosing to rot in poly then jc... i would have been in army now and having an easier route to university... IF IM SMART ENOUGH THAT IS... haha... i would have been still stuck in volleyball surpassing my current skills achieving top in national in jc level... nyjc or ajc volleyball teams are always at the top... and these are the two schools im able to get in...

BUT THEN AGAIN... if i went to jc... i guess i would have ambled pass friends on the streets as strangers... imagine you are suppose to be in that picture goofing around with them... but are considered strangers now... and i wouldnt met jubjub unless she happens to clumsily trip herself and fall flat infront of me... then again... BF 13 wont be BF 13... jack wont be a faggot fuck up brother to me... qiang wont be my company... mad wont be a bitch... veron wont be another bitch... amelia wont be the chairman of OCBC... FSRC peeps wont be always meeting up just to celebrate birthday or occassions which are all clustered together at the end of the every year... SHE wont be my aunt mommy and jie... weiling wont be my secretary... and joanne wont be the dumbest... or maybe she still will be... haha...

2007-01-21T02:45:00.000+08:00

im embarrassed knowing that at times i wasnt there...
when i know you guys are really there for me...
im embarrassed knowing that i dont give much shits upon listening to whinings...
when i know whenever im doing the same you guys just listen without showing any displeased...
im embarrassed knowing im physically there...
when i know you guys are both physically and mentally there...

its not that im not concern...
its not that i dont ask...
its not that i dont care...

not showing doesnt mean i dont care...
not saying doesnt mean i dont know...
not expressing doesnt mean i dont give a damn...

im not fit to be...

my greatest apology to LIM YONGQUAN... im utterly discomfited...
my second apology to you...
and at times... i really just feel like being just friends... instead of...

PS... THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY JUBJUB...

2007-01-19T01:36:00.000+08:00

just 2 years ago... on the 18... i was officially attached...
on that exact year... during national day... distrastrous took place...
just a year ago... before chinese new year comes to an end...
i was blessed with happiness again...
and till today... or rather... the 18... i received this...

just like any normal day... main reason... IM BROKED... its a little disappointing that i couldnt allow jubjub to enjoy extravagant meals... or shopping spreeing... or even romantic candle light dinner...

NAPFAS TOMORROW... well im pretty much prepared to fail without sweating... haha... i can no longer jog nor can i pull myself up the damn bar...

anger... sadness...
whats the point of knowing... when theres little to be done...
whats the point of asking... when theres much to give yet more to bear...
whats the point of consoling... when it doesnt even solve the problem...
i wish im much older... i just wish...

i hate the fact that im a spendthrift...
i hate the fact that i dont have any savings...
i hate the fact that my expenses are always more than my income...
i hate the fact that... she dotes on me... allowing all these bad habits to continue...
and i seriously hate the fact that... shes in pain... yet no ones able to help her...
some habits are just hard to correct... just like mine and hers...

2007-01-10T11:37:00.000+08:00

i dislike wednesday... its continous tutorials from 0900 to 1300... and im always unable to wake up in the morning... suck... haha... im always listening from the croaking of a toad... to the meowing of a cat... and lastly... the never ending buzzing of a bee...

2007-01-08T03:19:00.000+08:00

just as i was looking through friendster before i get to bed... i passed by class 4E4'03... which brings back memories... way back since i stepped into primary school... and only much to remember old pals from primary 1 all the way up to primary 6... and the only 2 whom i continued hanging out with since primary were FOOKAI AND TERENCE... HAHA...

then again i look through the friends that i continued hanging out with since we graduated from secondary... ZHIJIAN... JUNWEI... TONGLIANG... PEIJIAN... YUTING... and to even think i wasnt even close to neo junwei throughout my 4 years in secondary... being stuck in the same class as that asshole as well... at that time... tongliang became my "hubby" and peijian became my "rumor" even after telling every single souls we were just friends... till we got so used to it that we stopped bothering... times where we steal nonsensical stuff to store in our classroom... times where we practise every single day for teachers day... times where ONG YUTING... cant stop criticising about every little single thing... AND PIG LEG... even the times whereby i headed into class with a stupid sleepy logged face and still greeting fairuz with a smile... i never failed to do so... i quoted this from the testi she wrote me ages ago... haha... was really touched back then...

"Hmm... knowing kenny for 2 years, I somewhat see him as someone approachable. Being a timid girl in class, he makes an effort to just say hello to me in the morning and it really makes my day..."

and i was accused of being gay... because of yeo tongliang... aint that different after i stepped into poly... just that my partner switched to jackson loh... haha... of cause i didnt forget my 3 bitches... haha... reka karene and eva... never ending bitching...

after another 3 years... memories of primary school will drift even further... bits and pieces of secondary school will start to fade away... and my memories will be the times with BF13... and TEP pals...

2007-01-03T00:55:00.000+08:00

jubjubs making sure im heading to bed in an hour time... so lets keep this short...

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE...

sometimes... i still cant understand... why my heart aches that much upon thinking it... when i look at others... it aches more... part of me will be good for you... the other would be why isnt it me... anyway... i totally lost interest in academic... haha... im just too lazy to really start my projects and studying... I HOPE SCHOOL ENDS SOON...

2006-12-31T06:25:00.000+08:00

well... its like 6 in the morning... i was kind of awaken from dreamland... so lets end 2006 right now... and anticipate 2007... just another 18 more hours to go... haha... i realise theres no point studying to fight for my GPA now since it will no longer hit 3... IPP seriously did pull it down abit... but... i shall no longer grieve over the past... and look real forward to a new year... easy said than done...

whats in for 2007...
1. ending school in like 2 months...
2. taking my NAPFA WHICH I HAVE NOT TRAIN FOR...
3. ARMY... ARMY... ARMY...
4. BALD BALD BALD....

thats all i could think of... haha... oh my god... it doesnt seem so anticipated anymore... the only resolution i manage to complete in 2006 was to get my driving license... how disappointing...

2007 resolutions...
1.
2.
3.

then i realise... i have none... haha...

2006-12-29T04:58:00.000+08:00

jubjubs going to kill me upon knowing im not asleep... haha... conclude the end of this year... lets talk about the pleasant stuff... its much shorter... haha...

1. im back with jubjub... this seems to be the only real blessing...
2. i went to taiwan... with part of BF 13...
3. Genting trip with my relatives and family...
4. The best birthday gifts so far... expensive cakes as well...
5. Great celebrations... and pleasant surprises... the cheesecake on the day itself...
6. i got my driving license...
7. i did enjoy my stay during TEP and IPP...

now... lets talk about the downs... hold your breath... its going to be a long way...

1. im broke my thumb during a match...
2. lost a match to a school of total different level... lousier of cause... which is rather embarrassing...
3. bro left the house...
4. got reprehend by family cause of the sudden last minute back out when jacks dad decided not to let him join us for the genting trip... wasted unnecessary cash...
5. was disappointed upon receiving a call from my cousin knowing jack was there... haha...
6. TEP grades...
7. Entrepreneurship did lead to some disharmony...
8. got disappointed during my birthday itself...
9. deleted my entrepreneurship project... not once... but several times... and worst... once before entrepreneurship day itself...
10. yongquan thingy going on... dramatic a little...
11. failed my TP once...
12. dads disappointment on the day itself when i passed my TP...
13. lost my ATM card... and the pin number right after i received the mail...
14. Haze worsen my asthmatic problem...
15. NS check up didnt move smoothly...
16. a fight with jack...
17. crashed the car doors handle...
18. keyboard leading nowhere...
19. monstrous looking at many times...
20. IPP grades... which pull my GPA further down...

these are the major ones i guess... the little minor ones... lets just leave it out... i wouldnt count quarreling with jubjub a negative... cause couples do fight often... or maybe mine a little too often... but as for now... i do need her beside me... and i mean it...

SO LETS ALL LOOK FORWARD TO A NEW YEAR... DUMPING ALL BAD MEMORIES BEHIND... NEW RESOLUTIONS... NEW BEGINNING... which i think... i need it badly... just to move forward leaving 2006 behind...

i remember looking through my post at the end of 2005 happily awaiting a new year... with a happy smile cause 2005 was great... but today... i stand before the new year... wishing this year would just hurry up come to an end... to end all the sufferings... all the pain i had experienced...

i dare to say... IM NOT HAPPY THIS YEAR... AND I HOPE I WILL BE THE NEXT...

2006-12-24T06:38:00.000+08:00

bear with me people... this is going to be a long long entry... i was still unable to sleep cause i crashed my car door... fuck... in details later... okay... this week ended well... but not till the very last minute...

starting from sunday... monday... tuesday... jubjub and i have been rushing the taiwanese series... wei xiao pasta... okay... the series as usual... super drama with sweet scene whereby jubjub tried killing me cause im not as romantic as that stupid guy... but still... its nice spending our asses in front of the television finishing the damn show... and this time... i make sure she doesnt fast forward any parts...

afterwhich... joined mad weiling joanne jack at eski bar on tuesday night itself... it was freezing... consider it inside or outside the bar... the weather seems to be the coldest on that day... haha... we were like chatting till 0330 until the damn security guard chase us home... for your information... mad was sleeping... haha...

wednesday... was out with jubjub again... this time... watching a night in the museum... or i cant remember the movie name... was shopping around bugis when i bump into huishi zhijian and fookai... bugis street was damn pack... lost interest... decided to head back bugis junction and await for the movie... the funny thingy was... jubjub thought i wanted to watch the show... whilst i thought she wanted to watch it... both of us were like seating in the cinema questioning ourselves why we actually bother to watch such movie... haha... the show aint that great... 2.5 stars out of 5 i would rate it... it aint that hilarious... and theres this stupid saying of logical stuff which every single one of us knows... the shows meant for kids...

thursday was fetching jubjub and veron to town... then ice skating... haha... IM THE ULTIMATE WINNER... with only ONE FALL WHICH WAS DRAG DOWN BY MAD... haha... angel called me a devil for the night... followed by mahjong session... lost as usual... not as usual... but... still... theres still no luck...

friday... was baking cookies day... my kitchens in a total mess... mad joanne weiling came to witness the mess i created... or rather... i think angel made my maids life more miserable... theres flour practically everywhere... but the cookie came out fine... i guess... followed by death note 2... and a huge fight in between with jubjub... the movies good... a sudden twist in the story which i didnt expect at all... rate it 4.5 out of 5 stars... haha... one more funny thingy... i was baking the cookie in front of jubjub and she didnt even realise... and mom scolded me for mixing around with my friends too often that i neglect jubjub... which is SO DAMN UNTRUE...

saturday... just few hours back... was slacking at home with jubjub whilst waiting for time to pass to head for brothers composing competition... aint that bad... but... im like rotting there listening to songs after songs... whereby some dont sound good at all... my classmate top the competition... congrats... followed by meeting up with reka karene eva yongquan junwei... had late dinner and headed to MOS cause we got no where to go... dancing with reka was nuts... but yet fun... and we were saying after knowing each other since secondary one... we still have our first time doing stuff together every now and then... haha...

then the horror... was driving up the stupid small carpark in liang court... when i scratched the car... whilst going home... i accidentally accelerate and i smashed my handle of the door off... oh my GOD... MY MOMS SO GOING TO KILL ME later... im too afraid to fall asleep actually... what damn ass am i to actually spoil the entire week... haiz... my cars going to the hospital again... this time... just to surgery its arm... IM SORRY... haha... im depressed now...

then i realise... i havent even started isolation period... haha...

2006-12-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

NOT FOR CRITICISM...
NOT FOR CONSULTATION...
NOT FOR MENTIONING...
roll your eyes... mumbling words... i bet there will be...

i have finally reached to a conclusion today... after whats being happening lately... and the worst... just 20hours ago... be contented with what you have...

its usually unusual for me to have much arguments with my buddies... but 2 major incident actually took place... one was when i was 17... and the other was on tuesday... at times i know how sarcastic and foul my mouth can get... but still whats done cant be undone... we are just caught in the middle sometimes... not knowing what to do... you apologised... but cant it actually undo anything... you ratify your mistake... but still its unable to unfold the amount of injuries you have actually created when you made the mistake... this goes the same for relationship... i would always go... sanyang sanyang... and stuff... besides that... i cant seem to go any further to seek for forgiveness... conclusion... MAKE LESSER MISTAKES... HAHA...

then it was mahjong... results of ipp... billard... i was sorting out my real thoughts while playing billard with jack today... i know how cold the environment was... from the usual smiley fucking around face... to a total slight smirk whenever i realised how unlucky i was... i dare to say... my working attitude aint bad... my mahjong skills aint bad... reactions were like "what the fuck" "are you serious" "thats so unfair" "how can it be possible"... these people were the ones working with me at ocbc knowing i did put in effort... yet getting some fuck up results... it goes the same for tep... sometimes... its just the luck... which i know myself... im really lack of... i have to surrender... conclusion... DO YOUR BEST... EVEN IF THE EFFORTS ARENT PAID OFF... AT LEAST YOU DID YOUR BEST...

its easier said to be done... i want to let it go... let it be... knowing myself from young ive been cultivated to have this deep strong sense of hatred... whereby i always felt i should deserve what i get... and not this... its difficult... its just difficult... i dislike words of sympathy... i dislike people trying to protect me... taking care of me behind my back... these will just make me feel more downgraded from what ive already been going through... i rather people just listen to my complains... and not consoling me... i dont need consultations... i dont need to know how worst other people are... cause even if there are people who are as unlucky or even more unlucky than me... there are still plenty who stands infront of me... im spoilt not because they spoilt me... but its the way i like to spoil myself... just for some hopes... some enlightenment...

what seems to be the luckiest thing i have is to have jubjub... one that i can really count on... i know how devastated she was upon hearing the results... but looking at her disappointment will just pull me back to the helpless me... and not walking out of this well... im sorry baby... i really am...

what ever im good at... there will be others who are better than me...
what ever i suck at... there will also be others who will be even more suckier than me...
what ever i wish for... there will be others who need it more...
but still im selfish... i want the best for myself... and at this moment... i need it... i really do...

im in isolation period... once again...

2006-12-15T01:23:00.000+08:00

i dont deserve such low results... but still... count me being always that unlucky... thanks alot... my gpa dropped further...

no words of sympathy...
no words of consolation...
no words of how badly you did...

just... listen... and shut up...

2006-12-12T17:54:00.000+08:00

history seems to be renacting... 2 years ago... the exact same incident happened... yongquan was pissed with me and we hadnt spoken for 40days... i hate this feeling... friends around us will start splitting... just to ensure neither one was abandoned... so familar... yet unpleasant...

i felt real bad after what harsh words i said yesterday... or even after "fuck off" and i decided to take another route... inclusive of the exchange of glances at the smoking area when im actually heading there to check on him...

im overwhelmed with anger... which later ceased to feeling total crappiness... was hoping tutorial class or lectures to end real fast so i could get out of the damn school...

damn... im skipping school tomorrow... heading there only to take international finance treasury test... and seriously speaking... i dont know what is the damn problem...

2006-12-06T11:35:00.001+08:00

sometimes... i felt i wasnt good enough... i felt i wasnt giving enough... but at times... i felt i was actually good enough... actually giving enough... and that she should appreciate me for who i am... and not what im able to give...

but then i think again... im not the only one giving... im taking much as well... the initiative to wake up early in the morning and head to my house to disturb me from lala land every saturday and sunday... the long nagging and constant complaining... which is for my own good... and always getting me food... which in the end ends up in her own stomach...

im happy with my life... although it seems that im always tired... LIM YONGQUAN... STOP DRAINING ME DRY AT NIGHT... haha...

bumping into reka karene eva at mos was a good thingy... I MISS MY BITCHES... these are people where we meet every once in awhile just to crap shits together... i realise i do have many good pals... but still... what happens after 10 years... meetings will eventually cease... maybe a few years once... it will be more of working to earn money for survival... standing strong for our family... never ending list actually... it comes to a time where loans starts appearing... car... house... children... etc...

life is evolving... look at the different stages of life... people changed...
no longer naive... but practical...
no longer playful... but vicious...
no longer truthful... but hypocritical...
no longer wanting to be popular... but wanting to power...
no longer smiling from within at all times... but smiling while holding onto a knife at most times...

dont deny... this is human nature... haha...

2006-11-29T09:25:00.000+08:00

lets do some movie reviews... haha... it actually made me realised i watched too many movies recently... these are the movies that are still available in the movies... or rather... golden village... haha...

duration wise - happy feet...

cuteness - happy feet...

funny scenes - flushed away...

enjoyment - flushed away...

overall - flushed away...

happy feet turned rather boring when the stupid penguin started swimming after the ship...

duration - draw...

scary scenes - 9:56...

storyline - the grudge i guess...

enjoyment of being freaked out - 9:56...

hiding behind jacket - draw... haha...

overall - 9:56

okay... step up... as usual... excellent dance move... it actually made me watched honey... and i realised... honey seems better... haha... 3.5 out of 5 stars...

lets just say... this is one hell of a pathetic show... 0.000005 out of 5 stars... and im being really generous... haha...

imagine... you are crossing the road slowly... abruptly as well... then a car horn at you... reason you jay walking yet still taking your own sweet time to cross... shocked by it... you either crossed quickly... or crossed even slower to piss the driver... take the latter... you seem delighted looking at the agitated driver...

now imagine... you are driving... and you saw this idiotic fool crossing the road... you are in a hurry... he takes his own sweet time crossing the damn road... in order to shock him or to scare him... you horn him... he freaked out for a moment... you seem delighted...

think again... you are a waiter in the restaurant... theres this nasty customer who complained about your bad service... when actually... your face just seems super black after a fight with your girlfriend or boyfriend... you want to fuck the customer up and spit saliva in his meal... or you actually done it...

now think again... you are the customer... after looking at such black face... and such people actually ruin your appetite... you lodge a complaint... only to feel much better...

at times... we have to imagine ourselves in other peoples shoes... but seriously speaking... it isnt easy... i myself cant do it... haha...

2006-11-22T09:19:00.000+08:00

im listening to some monotonous robot... accidentally left my damn phone in the car... cant sms jubjub now...

well... remember when we are kids... there will be some games whereby the BOSS of the kids will start choosing their members... all kids will go ME ME ME... even the last one standing will be delighted that he was chosen... no grudges... no sadness... just pure blissfulness when they are picked...

now imagine the same kind of thing happens... the BOSS among our friends will start picking members... will it be the exact same feeling... besides wanting to be in a good team... regardless whether it is project or some other working stuff... the mentality of not wanting to be picked last will definitely amplify when members are slowly being picked... other negative thoughts such as... am i such a lousy team member... am i not capable... am i not as close friend as i thought i was with him or her... and many more... will just flood the brain...

sometimes... or rather... i prefer... lecturers to pick the groupings... its just irritating at times knowing you cant fit every single friend in the clique in a group... once your group seems to be formed... other thoughts starts flowing through... like how about him or will she be mad at me... everyone wants a good group... but somehow we cant seem to please everyone... HUMANS ARE JUST SELFISH PEOPLE... haha...

people start complaining about how unfair their grouping is... and how this or that will affect them... oh come on... get on with life... this is life... the fucking world IS that UNFAIR... although i myself at times dont want to suffer... will start grumbling... how fickle minded...

okay... back to class... missing jubjub though...

2006-11-15T11:19:00.000+08:00

im stuck in this cold freezing room... one old hag bee seems to be buzzing around and im not allowed to eat biscuits all thanks to ko weiqiang... down with fever... this sucks... look on the bright side... i didnt have to take the napfa test as soon as the guys... haha...

why bother... when im always so unlucky...
why bother... when things dont always turn out the way it should be...
why bother... when im supposed to be used to it...
why bother... whenever hardwork doesnt seems to be appreciated...
why bother... why...

i dont know... but still... im pretty much affected by it...

2006-11-06T16:40:00.000+08:00

well... looks like GPA still going to remain the same... for the 4th time... just got the comfirmation from my supervisor... whatever... the monopoly jail story didnt work out for me...

im looking forward to the end of 97 hours and 52 minutes...
cant wait...

2006-11-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

220 hours... 7 minutes...

2006-10-26T14:23:00.000+08:00

asthma evolving to a bad stage... in another week without prevention... i would be hospitalised... what the hell... total bill was 103BUCKS... KILLER... coughing and sore throat isnt the cause that trigger my asthma... it was actually the asthmatic turning into a worser stage that shows symptoms of cough and sore throat... SHOCKED... DAMN THE WEATHER...

explained the reasons to my supervisor to seek his understanding... next would be my LO...

3 and a half more hours... 11 more days... i will definitely pull it through... my only way of relaxation seems to be under construction again... FUCK...

2006-10-25T17:18:00.000+08:00

55 days of work... 1 holiday... 4 medical leave... 1 half day leave...
im so not going to score well for ipp... guess i will be explaining clearing to my supervisor tomorrow on the numerous leaves i have taken... haha...

one more thing... MY ELDER BROTHER DELETED ALL THE VIDEOS FROM JACKS BIRTHDAY... WHAT THE HELL... nevermind... there are memories right... NOT MY FAULT... i clearly reminded him not to... but in the end... haiz... shall not elaborate... heart pain...

PICTURES SENT TO MAIL FOR BF... email address... elnevol87@hotmail.com... n password would be my IC... ask qiang and jack for it then... haha... get it after 8pm...

yesterday was a night out with fookai before he leaves us for another 3 more weeks... well... my dota skills been so sucky... haha... then it was party world till... 4am...

2006-10-23T13:54:00.000+08:00

well... im pretty much considered penniless... when i have money in my account which cant be drawn... reason... yeo tongliang lost my card during clubbing... and i lost the pin number again the following week when i received a new card... like what the fuck... how unlucky can i get... still i transfered some of money from uob to dbs... which declared myself... offically broke for the week... until my card comes back... sadded...

anyway... finally joannes birthday was over... well... i practically skip the process of getting real high and drunk to puking... lousy stomach cant seem to take the excessive alcohol... which forced me to bed early... wasnt half as high as i was at jacks birthday... nevermind... joannes down with puking and puking... and toilet bowl... haha...

next day was out with jubjub veron and alfred... was shopping around... then DEATH NOTE... yeah... i like the plot... 4 out of 5 stars... haha... followed by frog porridge...

sunday was kind of chaotic... elder brother actually crashed the car... although he was considered uninjured... unfortunately... the car was heavily injured... poor car... was about to be executed soon... i guess... i can even see its internal organs... the flesh was totally ruin with broken bones... haha... i will miss you... though you are no longer useful... or should i say... TOTALLY REDUNDANT...

been sick... real sick... bad throat... leading to my usual attacks... what the hell... hate it... its pure suffering... and i want to go home...

2006-10-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

i want to see her everyday after work...
i dont like the idea of her going home alone after work...

thats settled...

theres a limit to everything...

2006-10-17T13:45:00.000+08:00

every morning... looking at her while she starts nagging... whining... pushing me away...
every night... rushing home as soon as possible to avoid getting scolded... continued listening to her nags... her sleeping in the car while i send her home... her complaining non-stop saying i didnt have enough time for her when i meet her EVERYDAY...

to be honest... its a blessing... im enjoying it... loving it...

2006-10-16T13:44:00.000+08:00

bad attitude...
bad temper...
bad days...
thats what i was when im not with jubjub... days seems hard to pass by at work... i detest it... i hate it... but still... theres only 19 more days for me to get out of this hell cage... im suffering from the boredom... the work load... the emptiness at work...

im lazy for meet ups... neither do i even want to listen to bullshits... bullshits that aint making any differences... that pissed him off... even 3rd party cant stand these shits...

sleepy... drowsy... i owe to just live in my own world for now... dreadful lifestyle...

2006-10-06T13:45:00.000+08:00

restless... tired... drained... wasted...
that seems to be how im feeling everyday... i cant believe i would have to sit through this kind of life throughout my life... how i wish we can still go back to the time whereby humans are dumb... where we hunt for food rather than work our ass off to earn cash for entertainment and food...

my "office" seems to be the gathering ground for the interns in WCM... haha... they would just drop in... and start chatting whenever they are sick and tired of facing the computer... i think i should convert it into a snack room soon... haha...

2006-10-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

zombie... staring at the computer... hoping time would pass faster... wishing for the sun to set so that hes able to go home and have a good night sleep... or rather heading to lala land till the sun rise back up again... IM FREAKING TIRED... THANKS TO YOU YEO TONGLIANG AND LIM YONGQUAN...

crap... i took medical leave yesterday... my planning seems disrupted now... nevermind... just another 26 more days to go... inclusive of the public holiday and excluding today... just 6 weeks ago it seems like theres 55 days to go... time really flies... haha...

yongquan was in a emotional rollercoaster ride again... drove him around yesterday made me realise HOW EXPENSIVE PATROL COST... haha...

mom was like telling jubjub how i felt about him... and she said she will remember a sentence that i said forever about him... its negative... i guess when im young i didnt realise i actually blurt out that sentence... its true i never really had much interaction with him since young... but whats the point of saying it when its history... i will never carry on his footstep... cause i know... how does it feels like to be in the situation which i am in now...

2006-10-02T13:40:00.000+08:00

okay... 2 movies that i watched since i cant remember when...

john tucker must die... its hilarious... fun to watch... but i find the ending very dumb and nonsensical... 3 out of 5 stars...

this movie is better than i have anticipated... first... the babys adorable... plus looking at louis koo jeans and cargo actually tempted me to go shopping... theres charlene as well... although she just seem like a stranger popping into the picture a few times... haha... a better movie that jacky chan had produced... 3.75 stars out of 5... haha...

okay... i have shifted to the boss office... haha... shall post some pictures later... not at the moment... haha... anyway... been out too frequent for the last month... shall stay low this month... start clearly all the mess in my room and my aim to beat angelia... haha... budget month... lets see how well it goes...

2006-09-29T13:46:00.000+08:00

the disappointment was lightened up when my beloved brother came all the way down to town... allowing me to drive around in his dads car... haha... I LOVE YOU...

so... i got to send jubjub home... i did kept my promise... about she being the first passenger when i drive... BUT THEN... THOSE IDIOTS WERE LIKE COMPLAINING... FRIGHTENED I WOULD END THEIR PRECIOUS LIFE... people in the car include... veronica lim... mckenzie... desmond... jubjub... and jack of cause... first stop was to send jubjub home... followed by veron... mckenzie quoted "you reached home in 1 piece... hope it applies the same to me"... like what the fuck... haha... anyway... i was overjoyed just having the car to drive...

we went the wrong way and headed all the way to sengkang... wake poor bitch madeline up... stopped mommy (angel) from her baking of cookies... drove them back to my place... got packed up... sent them home... and headed all the way to jacks house... was dead tired and sleeping in the car... desmond was driving...

works ending soon... yes... cant wait... 6 more weeks to go... 30 more days... 720 hours... 43,200 minutes... and 2,592,000 seconds... excluding today...

i came to a conclusion... FACE THE MUSIC... this time... without me there to accompany you...

2006-09-28T13:57:00.000+08:00

waiting for the damn wennie to call me so i can get stuff from her...

well... the enthusasim and esctatic mood faded when false hopes were raised which leads to drastic disappointment...

probation was postpone... likely to fall on the saturday...

2006-09-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

im childish if i were to put it in a bad way...
whatever...
thanks alot... well appreciated...

i passed...

so...

2006-09-26T13:55:00.000+08:00

been planning my working days... theres another 34 days to go... 1 holiday... 1 half or full day leave depending on how i want it to be... 1 more mc in between... i have to plan the exact date for the mc... haha... cant just waste it for nothing...

yup... traffic police test is like in less than 24 hours... hopefully... everything will go on just fine...

2006-09-25T14:00:00.000+08:00

seriously speaking... im utterly disappointed... im feeling really sorry for you... i cant imagine how can you be so diversified... forget it... im washing my hands out of this... firstly... i cant face you... secondly... i dont know what kind of attitude would i even give... the usual... or something else...

driving in 2 days... the pressures pouring... fear i would fail once again... fear i would have to go through the exact process for the 3rd time... i need to pray... im tired of waiting...

people who dont learn things the soft way... should learn it the hard way... and i guess... some people are just the latter... or worse... they simply dont learn... even after several severe encounter...

worrying aint helping them get anywhere... whats the point then...

2006-09-22T13:39:00.000+08:00

im one of the earliest to be back at the office everytime after lunch... see what good and innocent boy i am... haha... anyway... i was super late for work today... I JUST CANT SEEM TO WAKE UP... i cant imagine future working life dragging myself up every morning after my alarm had been constantly ringing for half an hour... but still... im enjoying life... i got my jubjub with me whenever im not meeting anyone else... im totally booked by her on the weekends... and i get to meet the guys in the late night on saturday... and weekdays are almost fully booked with programs and late night gathering... which made me zombie-like every other day... or at times... everyday... haha...

sometimes... people just dont listen... even when its their friends advices... im always being truthful to my pals... but at times they just lead their own way... i know... its their own life and its seriously up to them to take it or just dump your advice into the dustbin... but still... its disappointing knowing how wrong they could get and not turn back in time... thats when they have to face the music and we pals have to be there again...

just like i have mention in previous posts... what someone might think its fun... might not be fun to others... and everyone just got to lead their own life... every single person or even animals... are born alone... being unique in their own different ways... no one person will ever be alike although they may seem to have many similarities... since they are born alone... they are too mend to leave this world alone...

was mentioning to veron and mckenzie yesterday about what kind of person you are... you tend to usually mix around with the same kind of person... example... yongquan tongliang and i seriously got temper issue... and we have totally no patience... its just a matter of whose the worst... and i was saying how bastard some of my friends were or are... when veron shoot me in the face saying what kind of person i am would be the friends i mix around... THAT BITCH... haha... and i replied... "thats why you are a bitch"...

YES... FINALLY IM GETTING MY CASH TODAY... zhijian ought to remember to bring it... JOYS BON VOYAGE AND BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION LATER...

im off... chao...

2006-09-21T14:03:00.000+08:00

what the hell... my post was deleted... nevermind... anyway... i was back in the office early today... only to find almost nobody... ITS DESERTED... SCARY... haha... was looking through joannes post and saw some wish or rather wants for her birthday... PLEASE JOANNE... DONT LEARN FROM THE MASTER... haha... it actually reminds me of how i spend every years birthday with PLEASANT AND PATHETIC surprises... such as DEAD COCKROACHES... YUCK... its always fun when all celebration were held... and they are usually before the big day... next year... im going to celebrate it only on the big day itself... but sad to say... I MIGHT BE SERVING THE COUNTRY with my lanky body... SUCK...

went to the library before having dinner with jubjub yesterday... grabbed myself a book before we left... the books good enough to put me to sleep... think im going to scan for another soon... its been ages since i last read one...

driving was bad... i cant feel a single shit with my shoes on when i was stepping on the pedal... WORST... i felt too much shit once i took off my shoes... what the hell... and im speeding most of time... according to the naggy instructor... went home straight after and zonked out immediately...

seriously... i cant stand the fact that i have to face that piggy balloon face everyday... shes just pushing all her jobs to me and josephine... and worst... she poked her button fat nose into every little thing we do... like example... "Why is kenny talking to them"... "What are you doing"... oh my god... she must have a crush on me... but i dont go for old fat bloated up auntie... too bad for her... haha...

back to work...

2006-09-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

life at work... waking up at 0800... rushed to serangoon mrt before im killed by veronica lim... head to work with the necessary stuff to do... followed by about 1 and a half hour of lunch... after which... time just flies until work ends... trying to stay awake at times... as the sleepiness just cant seem to fade away... IM OFFICALLY BROKED AGAIN... luckily theres just 10 more days until the end of the month... which to be exact... its about 9 more days of hanging out... inclusive of today... okay... back to work...

2006-09-18T13:28:00.001+08:00

What we see as fun might not be fun for others...
What we see as a joke might not be a joke to others...
What we see as a game might not be a game for others...
What we had enjoyed might have actually caused pain to others...

What the hell were we thinking... are humans really that selfish... always putting themselves on the top... at times humans do think for one another... but at times due to ones beneficial or gratification... negligence just seems to be so predictable yet without oneself noticing... we have been listening to people telling us that theres kindness in every single person... but seriously... is there more kindness than selfish... I reckoned... its always after each selfish acts people starts repenting... but at times... isnt it too late...

These thoughts just struck me hard while I was doing some data keying and listening to jays music on thursday... sometimes I just feel that no humans deserves to go to heaven... and all humans will definitely be punished severely when they had to repent their sins... applies to both Christianity and Buddhism... haha...

Well... a sum up of everything... Thursday was chalet... Friday was meeting jubjub... Saturdays meeting yongquan... really not interested in explaining the Saturday thingy... Sunday was out with mom celebrating her birthday...

It seems to be the break down period... seeing one by one being affected by the cruelty of this planet... but at times... or shall I say... I was quite touched by someone... it makes me think that I actually did the right thing... and was appreciated...

2006-09-14T10:11:00.000+08:00

with just a minimal of 2 hours sleep... and im back to work... what the fuck... verons not here to bitch with me today due to her sore eyes... luckily i still have mckenzie around to crap with... but thats only during illegal breaks... haha...

okay... it was clubbing at zouk yesterday... together with zhijian yongquan tongliang terence junwei and zhijian girlfriends... overall... its okay... just at times it got a little too crowded that i literally dont feel like moving at all... it was more of phuture than zouk... my mambo night... haiz... nevermind... saw familar faces...

7 jugs of alcohol... 26 shots...

major drinkers were yongquan shina (if i spell it correctly) and me... once again... the neither here nor there feeling... yongquan got a little high...

that asshole was happily dancing... when suddenly he said he wanted to kiss me... what the fuck... theres nothing to fear anyway... WE FRENCHED... and guys turned and look at us... HAHA... WE ARE STRAIGHT PEOPLE WITH GIRLFRIENDS... jubjubs going to kill me...

anyway... hang out around the bridge till 0500 before heading home... im dying... i still have to head to the damn chalet later... may i be the best zombie ever at work tomorrow... haha...

2006-09-13T10:20:00.000+08:00

couldnt blog during lunch time for this week... i had to attend BLOOMBERG LESSONS almost EVERYDAY... a little time of from my morning break... starting work soon...

okay... i was fucking irritated by one of my colleagues... as well as my pathetic results... my hardwork didnt pay off that well after all... FUCK...

Entrepreneurship B+
Customer Relationship Management B+
Capital Marketing B
Business writing report B
Investment C+
General Insurance C+

WHAT THE FUCK... WHAT KIND OF DAMN RESULTS... IM SERIOUSLY disappointed... but whatever... i guess there isnt any need to fight for good grades anymore since my gpa just remain stagnant since TEP... its not moving... i need some fluctuation... forget it... im getting on with life...

EARLY IN THE MORNING... I WAS LATE... veron seems to be a little unhappy about it... sorry bitch... didnt mean to appear later than usual... followed by morning reports to customers... heres the conversation... translated from chinese to english...

THE COLLEAGUE: didi ah... why the rates never change... i told you you must minus 0.05% right... now im not earning any money from the customers...

ME: yar... i did minus 0.05% ah... its exactly what you said mah... (friendly tone of cause)

did the calculation infront of her...

THE COLLEAGUE: no not like that... its just minus 0.05... the rate is already in percentage... now customer asking for the higher rate ah... aiyo... why you so cute... (im treating it as a sarcastism)

ME: really ah... sorry leh... i help you change now ok...

so the moral of the story... shes one bloody hell bitch... i double confirm with her a week ago asking whether is it minus 0.05 or 0.05% and im DAMN FUCKING CERTAIN SHE SAID 0.05%... AND NOW SHES BLAMING ME... what can i do... just do a fake smile and apologise...

FUCK THIS SHIT...

2006-09-12T13:42:00.000+08:00

its quite amazing how much free time i have during my lunch break slacking my ass off... whilst when office hours start operating again... im trapped in front of my computer continuously typing reports after reports... haha...

yesterday was a night out with huishi... after the guys just seems to bust me again... was wondering around the streets updating one another about craps and stuff... its fun... and until now... both of us still had no clue how we got to know one another... time flies... 3 years ago im still sitting around the canteen with huishi junwei zhijian pinya lincoln shubi etc having lunch... occasionally joining yongquan tongliang fookai... or else spending my lunch time in class eating snacks with peijian yuting... now... im having lunch at different places having tissue papers to reserved seats for ourselves...

3 years ago... i would be hanging around school... volleyball... getting spotted at toa payoh... or even practising our dance steps with lincoln tongliang shuhui etc... with huishi laughing at us and yuting giving comments etc... and now... after work would be hanging out with these lost pals whereby i used to see them every single day at times... not to forget of cause... the bitchiness of reka eva and karene...

i miss my school life...

2006-09-11T13:42:00.000+08:00

another 24 minutes... and after that i had to clear the piles of work stack on my table... with deadlines... its such irritant that im with such luck situated at places whereby i work my ass off with results that dont pay off... i think im kind of used to it already... mom was like reminding me of how unlucky i am whereby every single one of the family can finish eating their meals but unfortunately... my still seems to be found no where... haha...

alright... 2 weeks down... 8 more weeks to go... not to forget 8 more weeks to win my bet... difficult... since every single morning i literally had to drag myself out of bed... and every single night i just simply drop dead on my bed after washing up and stuff... haha... lets try to make things work...

been reading posts... and at times watching shows showing how despicable or betrayal turned out to be nasty... everyone tends to go through those paths... i been through it... even your greatest pals might just whisper and stab you in the back... it actually sets you wonder how unpredictable this world can turn out to be... i would make fun of jackson at times saying why he didnt defend me when his friends were talking behind my back... when my cousin did the moment she heard them ill spoke about me... i wasnt disappointed because people were talking behind my back... i mean... that happens all the time... cause i know i do the same... haha... but was kind of disappointed he didnt stood up for me... as he seems to be the last person i would talk bad about... things just dont happen the way one wants it to be... lets just all accept it... haha... that doesnt mean im blaming him... hes still my best brother... a total faggot to be exact... haha...

there were times where you walk on the street and act as blur as you could that you didnt notice a friend... until you realise... the friend was actually doing the same... it turns out to be such jokes at times when you think about it... haha...

anyway... the conclusion isnt about having best pals to survive this world with you... or even kins... the picture is to be able to survive this nasty and harsh world on your very own... backstabbing or hypocritism or whatsoever just becomes part of our lifes... i had to go to work with such wide smile... accepting all jobs on the surface... while cursing and swearing to veron or other people via mails... but i do believe im still one hell of a kind hearted yet loving person... haha...

wow... long post... time to start clearing stacks of files...

2006-09-09T12:46:00.000+08:00

HELP... MY EYES ARE SERIOUSLY SHUTTING AND IM STILL LOOKING AT DAMN NUMBERS... HAIZ... I NEED A BREAK MAN... mom was like still insisting i should come back and help her out every saturday... im going to die if such things happen... haha... anyway... THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA... its nice... 4 stars out of 5... haha... worth the money...

2006-09-06T13:47:00.000+08:00

What the hell... im seriously freezing in the damn office... Tomorrow im going to bring my jacket... who cares if it looks so informal... I cant work in this kind of situation... How can I even write... my hand just simply dont work at all... This sucks... Haha... Anyway... lunch breaks over... the warmths gone... sadded...

There seems to be many things to be accomplished besides just trying my best to score well for ipp... My bet with angelia... and I havent started working out... can we just drop the bet... im too tired every night to start pumping up... Got to get my computer fix... which I seriously hope Jackson loh bring the reformatting stuff today... earning and saving more money for the things which I aim... They aint cheap... every single item I aim cost more than 100bucks... sucks...

please tell me im getting used to these long hours... yup... watched monster house with jubjub on monday... what the hell... was quite disappointed... what happen to that good ET movie... it aint as funny or scary as it should be... havent really been watching good movies... teens movie are just neither here nor there... i need good movies... haha...

black friday clique are coming to my house for fondue after work... yup... hurry... im craving for some company and fun... that doesnt mean i dont have fun when i was with jubjub... haha... okay... back to work...

2006-09-03T00:59:00.000+08:00

okay... i wasnt really planning to blog... but jubjub wants me to blog before i sleep... well... ipp was indeed okay... but im getting really exhausted and restless due to the little amount of sleep each day... guess i havent adapt to it yet... im trying... anyway... went out today with jubjub... WOW... WE SPENT BIG BUCKS... from eating snacks... good food... ice cream... back to snacks... watching movie... AND MAINLY... BUYING HER BEAUTIFUL DRESS AND BAG AND BELT... haha... had the company of veron and alfred as well... its been centuries since we last spent money like water and shop town area... although im like falling asleep any moment... but... its enjoyable... haha... zonked out...

2006-08-31T13:35:00.000+08:00

i guess its easy for me to blog everyday during lunch break... freaking hell... its like 2hours and people aint back yet... haha... nevermind... i shall just rest for the time being... anyway... jubjub and me seems to be better after a whole lots of commotion yesterday...

i just remember tomorrows teachers day... which means its time to meet up with old friends... i miss reka... haha... im going to see u soon... believe me... although its night life... but thats our usual meeting with the bitches...

i earned 120bucks inclusive of today already... and i spent only like 1/4 of that amount... on meals i mean... im fucking broke... pay and allowance will only come tomorrow... waiting for money to be banked in and stuff... its like monday... oh my god... i need help... WEILING... IM BROKE... GO ASK FOR OUR CASH...

2006-08-30T13:28:00.000+08:00

im at work... but then... its lunch break... im not slacking off... im a hardworking faggot if everyone remembers... haha... anyway... ipps been kind of seriously working for me... i hardly have the time to actually slack... its like report after report... analysis after analysis... and with sudden heads poking in asking me to finish their urgent errands... although its busy... but time seems to really fly pass... just when im typing this... once work starts... it seems like its ending soon... and seriously... im dead tired once i reach home... its bed time immediately... unless im meeting friends... haha... i have a calendar ready guys... book me... so i can update my calendar in my office...

anyway... im missing lots of shows... going to catch all of them... legally or illegally i will make sure im able to do so... haha...

yup... had a serious big fight with jubjub... sometimes im just not understanding enough... or maybe i just dont understand girls at times... im sorry...

2006-08-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

EXAMS OVER... IPP IS COMING IN LIKE 2 DAYS... WOW... LUCKY ME... I HAVE ONLY 3 RESTING DAYS... nevermind... i bet OCBCs going to be fun... im hoping and praying...

2006-08-22T22:15:00.000+08:00

two more papers left to go... TO FREEDOM... and back to jail the very monday... alrights... lets sum up everything... studying week i have been stuck at home... main reason cause im super broke to even want to step out of the house... other reasons include im lazy... studying seems efficient only at times... but what went in did went in... today cmfi paper... i wouldnt say im really confident about it... but at least i know whats going on... aint really sure about some calculation and theory part... nevermind... its the past...

coming home sleeping and woke up... AND I HAVE YET TO TOUCH INSURANCE... haha... lets just pray memorising would be easy for me tonight... some major problems seems to occur at the office... well... i wish to help... but im packed with IPP and stuff... i wouldnt even have the time... anyway people... im POSTED TO OCBC BANK... haha... i will be rich... WORKING 6 DAYS A WEEK FOR FUCKING CHEAP LABOUR... FUCK...

MUGGING TIME STARTS...

2006-08-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE HELL... im trying to save all the stuff before im able to reformat my comp... but it seems like its taking AGES... MY COMPUTERS TOO SLOW... FUCK... patience... i shall simply just wait patiently... FUCK THIS SHIT... haha... anyway... im trying hard to get some insurance into my head... AND NOTHING WENT IN... IM FLIPPING THE PAGES LOOKING FOR ANSWERS MORE THAN I AM STUDYING... haiz... tomorrow... lets see what happen...

2006-08-14T12:31:00.000+08:00

its a monday afternoon... and guess what... im heading for my traffic police test in less than 2 hours... fuck... its nerve racking... especially with the pressure where jubjub wants me to pass so badly... and wishing good lucks i get from black friday clique... oh my god... im not ready... haha... this sucks...

okay... i was doing my revision yesterday... when the tester actually says im too careful... when i used to be too careless... haha... everything kind of went on smoothly i guess... well... lets pray and hope things turn out good for today... im really looking forward to driving people around...

yup... entrepreneurship finally ended on saturday... what can i say... im satisfied with the performance... but not with crm project... i think my potential A will become a potential B or B+ grade... haiz... sadded... anyway... its mugging time... I WILL SCORE...

2006-08-05T23:35:00.000+08:00

WOW... FINALLY...
i can just rest my ass at home... enjoy the sleep and slacking... i have seriously been lacking of that for the past dont know how many weeks... haha... due to projects of cause... ENTREPRENEURSHIP DRAIN MY LIFE DRY... anyway... we are done with that shit... although we totally screwed up on the presentation... this time round... its kind of my fault... to actually neglect the powerpoint slides until we cant finish... and to throw the dumb shit financial plan alone thinking he can finish it... which in the end... KILLED ALL OF US... wasnt happy at all... was rushing the report in school again before 5 when our files got wiped out... able to head home at 2plus dragged us all the way to 5pm... seriously... ENTREPRENEURSHIP SUCKS... I HATE IT...

after like... sleeping from 6pm till 1030am without waking up by any phone calls or sms... just slepping zonked out... been sleeping for less than 3hours for the past 48hours... and several 4 5 6hours of sleep the days before... soon im going back to dream land... to replenish all those youth i have lost... haha...

2006-08-02T09:31:00.000+08:00

what the hell... was fuck by my mom a minute ago... reason... cause im showing some disrespectfulness... not to her of cause... nevermind... haiz... what else can i say when i know my attitude is getting worst when i have to face him... haha...

im tired... had seriously little sleep... haha... help...

2006-07-31T09:27:00.000+08:00

it seems like im a little too lazy to blog or to upload any pictures... haha... so... for the past week what have i been doing... been watching movies... eating steamboat... staying hotel... enjoying good food... drinking... been to zoo once again...

this is one hell of a stupid cartoon... badly animated... totally change the orginal story of red riding hood... haha... but overall... its funny at some parts... and super lame at others... i would rate this show... 3 out of 5 stars...

well... the fightings damn cool... but i kinda felt that the storyline sucks... i mean... its abit draggy here and there at times... but still... a great action movie i would say... 3.25 out of 5 stars...

its been a long time since i last watch a love story which wouldnt put me to sleep... this movie... no words can describe... watch it yourself... haha... please... watch it with your spouse or something... and dont be gays to watch it with guys... haha... rate this... 4.5 out of 5 stars...

well... thats all for the 3 movies i watch... haha... anyway... got to rush out entrepreneurship this week... theres much to accomplish... how i wish time would just stop for me... haha... im rushing against it... sucks... haha...

2006-07-20T13:30:00.000+08:00

PROJECTS AND PROJECTS AND PROJECTS...

omg... i cant believe im stuck in school just doing projects... or even at home... i kind of fear reaching home... cause the moment i switch on my computer... im almost starting on something... haha... FUCK... THIS SUCKS... year 3 sucks big time... haha...

1. Insurance
2. Report Writing
3. CRM... which i cant remember when
4. Entrepreneurship

just handed up Investment last monday... and CRM last thursday... i think i had burnt most of my oil over night doing projects... entrepeneurship... cmfi... investment... tests tests test which i think i flung almost all... haha...

nevermind... at least i dont mind any of my results anymore... until weiqiang reminds me i had to score Bs to maintain my GPA... haha... crap... and dads stressing me to go University...

i think im slimming down... shit... need to start working out to plump in more fats... fuck... haha... too lazy... no determination... okay... another 2 and a half hour to go before jub end her class... back to project...

remember to watch the spectacular ending of privates of the carribean after the credits... i rate that show... 4 out of 5 stars... it could have been higher if it wasnt for ending... which create so much suspense...

2006-07-15T01:26:00.000+08:00

10 july i turned 19... haha...

well... that marks the end of all celebrations and presents and cakes... lets do some recap...

7 july 2006...
headed to ang mo kio with jack qiang... to play billard... apparently they are planning some surprises... which is for the girls to appear at some restuarant near my place... well... after which... everyone proceed to my house for a super late game of monoply till the early morning...

wonderful surprises...
the beautiful long cake bought from shangri la hotel...

expected...
pandang cake... lung exercised for the 2nd year blowing off those sparkling candles...

freak out moment...
4 DEAD COCKROACHES... CHASING ME AROUND IN MY OWN LOCKED GUEST ROOM... more information... look for those idiots...

people present were... jack qiang... madeline... joanne... angelia... angel... weiling... love you guys...

8 july 2006...
i was brought to play some stupid game at sentosa early in the morning with jack qiang angel and madeline... what the fuck... we ran around sentosa for freaking 7hours straight... detours and detours and detours... it was fun... but super tiring... had dinner with them before heading town to meet the other bunch of idiots... by the way... we were ranked 6 out of 30 groups... some even gave up half way...

okay... went to preview lounge at cineleisure... played some stupid games and went to catch a midnight movie called campus ghost stories... i rate it -5 out of 5 stars... fuck... i almost slept throughout the whole show... the movie seems so damn budget... afterwhich watch abit of soccer before heading home...

expected...
trying to surprise me and shenghe... but... failed...
need to do some dares before getting my REAL present...

appreciated...
the fossil watch which each of them forked out quite a bit... and the cheese cake which is equally expensive as well...

people present... yongquan... tongliang... shenghe... terence... zhijian... junwei... huishi... joy... love you guys lots as well...

9 july 2006...
was practically sleeping and resting at home with jubjub... but there were quarrels... nevermind... had a wonderful dinner with my parents at no signboard seafood... haha...

pleasant surprise...
issey miyake perfume... summer limited edition... and a photo picture... i love it... lots...

10 july 2006...
my birthday itself... was heavily affected by doing badly for the test in the morning... followed by no dates on the day itself... haha... was supposed to meet jubjub... as i promised the day before... but i expect myself to be going out with others before meeting her... nevermind... went to watch superman with her and had swensen... theres discount everywhere... haha... cause its my birthday... went back to school for night class...

pleasant surprise...
a cheesecake at the end of the day... followed by a chocolate to lighten up my mood... seriously i wasnt upset with you guys... haha... but i really appreciate the effort...
cards written by them...
ice cream lighted candle with jubjub...
and her company...

expected...
my presents... haha... surf pants and t shirt from levis...
a haircut... i miss my hair... its freaking short once again...

14 july 2006...
just met up with the bunch of guys for dinner and playing the games over there cause we had to wait for constance and meixian... 4 freaking hours of sitting on the sofa... my butt hurts...

people present... meixian... con... duan diao... kexin... yonghui... keemeng... joseph... yup... you guys are well loved by me...

thanks to all who wishes me and celebrated with me... inclusive of presents but didnt show up... ONG YUTING AND NG PEIJIAN... everything... i appreciate this year celebration... but it just seems to be unlucky... had every single day packed with projects and tests... which all seems to suck... i failed 2... and scored Cs... i hate this year results... haiz... nevermind... my life will be back on track in no time... haha...

2006-07-05T13:36:00.000+08:00

FUCK...
Thanks to you... I have to miss out some fun...
Thanks to you... destroying my beautiful plan for the week...
Thanks to you... I have much to complete in less than 5 days...
Thanks to you... my work load increased tremendously...
Thanks to you... i'm seriously pissed now...

I asked you before... if anyone is helping you with your damn fucking accounts... and you said you got someone to finish up for you... a simple sum up of information is needed to be done... I came here and BOOM... im starting from... where I stopped... thanks a lot... questioned him and he said... nevermind... cant finish today... finish tomorrow... if not finish by this week... FUCK YOU... THEN HOW IN THE FUCKING HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY... ORH I KNOW... LIKE YOU GIVE A FUCKING DAMN... SELFISH WORTHLESS MORON...

I seriously detest you... why am I stuck with you again... well... I dont really know... not for long... not for long... I dont need someone like you to teach me how to walk my path... since from young... you are the one who taught me how to be independent... very independent that I realized I dont need any of your help to survive on my own... im spoilt... I know... but its not because of you... never its because of you...

Once again... thanks for setting my mindset right this time round...

2006-07-05T02:44:00.000+08:00

just woke up from a short nap... and hey... soccers starting...

okay... finally done with 2 major projects... entre and cmfi... well... the hard do pay off for entre... but not cmfi... just got a B-... but nevermind... im clueless about the shit... but still... i guess the effort was sufficient... at least i scored well in report writing and an A grade for CRM... was shocked and happy when Ho Lilian whispered to me that im one of the 3 who scored 40 and above out of 50... haha... anyway... there are more projects coming my way... i dread projects... but i need all the marks that would be able to pull my gpa up to at least a high B grade... not a B+ i supposed... haha...

busying with school made me neglect my birthday celebration and wishes for presents... remembering the last time whereby i didnt even bother about my birthday was like in secondary two... i just went home to sleep on my birthday itself despite friends wanting to celebrate for me... remembering lim yongquan coming up to me and say... still not in the mood for celebration ah... haha... that seems to be the only line i remembered that day...

but my birthday every single year was great... with lots of company and entertainment... well... i guess i wont be celebrating my birthday with the girls this year... i mean... theres abit of... whatever... lazy to elaborate... haha...

so... for the presents i want this year... mmm...
1. fossil watch... which huishi and guys said they are going to get for me...
2. maybe a pair of shoes...
3. short of many accessories... all stolen or lost...
4. more ragged jeans... or maybe complicated jeans...
5. i want another surf pants...
6. a pair of sandals... elder brother took my loved havanas to the army...
7. armani bag... or maybe just some branded bag...
8. black tops... younger brother seems to steal all and left it at his friends house...
9. dont mind another cap...
10. cakes... lots of cakes... peppermint flavoured... cheese cake... haha...

well.. xueyan thought of keeping her trend of giving me a wallet yearly... i shall let her have the honour to do so... jubjubs still wondering what i want... i seriously dont have much wishes... or things which i want to have... but i guess... out of the 10 up there... you guys should know what i would desire for... haha...

soccers starting... watching or not... depends...

2006-06-30T09:08:00.000+08:00

what the fuck... haha... i slept for more than 13hours straight... im suppose to take a short nap... not a long sleep... shit... was waken up by jubjubs call a few times... im so sorry... i didnt mean to just sleep throughout the night...

anyway... went for an interview with qiang yesterday... at scruffy murphy... well... good pay... flexible working hours... inclusive of tips... but... no air condition... haha... i was wondering did i make the right choice working... less time to play... less time with jubjub... but more money to spend on playing and her... well... see how it goes...

watched 2 movies... just my luck and rv... well... both shows... mmm... very average i would say... funny... its just ordinary... 3 out of 5 stars...

went to zoo as well... haha...

the four of us... haha...

taking photos while waiting for the rain to stop...

hiding under the tree... haha...

the last picture taken when we left...

2006-06-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

early this morning... when i was woken up... well... i told a white lie... a lie which i thought would be able to save all the confusion... but the lie was exposed... and i lost big... mistakes are often made... solutions are whats important now...

im wrong... sorry...

2006-06-19T10:18:00.000+08:00

whats happening... things are getting way out of hands... whatever... it seems like this past few months or weeks... my life is at the lowest peak... HELP... GET ME OUT OF THIS INSANITY...

1. woke up in the morning... great... sore throat... bad flu... and worst... my back still seems to be burning...

2. keyboards driving me nuts... i had to perform to syllabus songs... with 2 composed songs by next week... im dying...

3. im broke... and i mean... really broke... all thanks to a little betting...

4. the talk with jubjub didnt went on well... quarrels... yelling... lost...

5. im sick and tired of doing projects... deadlines are drawing near...

well... guess no more soccer for me... earning money the decent way would be much better than trying my luck... i know if i continue betting... big bucks from my pocket will fly away... i rather invest more on mahjong... haha... anyway... was devastated last night... was about to leave my house and cab all the way down to jacks place... maybe for a drink... or just for company... till i remember his girlfriends staying over... well... just went roaming around serangoon area... with a mp3 for like almost an hour... didnt even know how i manage to do so... haha... anyway... im at work now... thinking about getting a new job... i seems useless in dads company now... since theres a new admin to get things done for him... phew... relaxation...

IM GETTING MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK...
at times i just feel like isolation... its the best thing to get away from everything... but time doesnt allow me to do so... haha...
WAKE UP KENNYPANG... WAKE UP...

2006-06-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

first thing first... i only had 2 hours of sleep... my phone wake me up at 8.00am due to some reasons... followed by weilings call at 10.00am...

got frustrated cause jack and yameh cant seem to wake up... cant blame... headed to school and was seriously pissed off when weiling and i started doing... what the fuck... seriously... i think i wasted my breath talking to this idiot... all he ever does was to criticise and criticise... FUCKING IRRITATED...

the worst came... jack was actually able to serious piss me off today... not as bad as the other 2... but still... i sort of went out of the school with weiling leaving them to continue with the project themselves... thats not all... i went back and realised all our saved files are gone... the whole completed version of the report... all my and weilings hard work...

dont irritate me today... i still have not seem to cool down yet...

2006-06-11T12:55:00.000+08:00

i watched 2 movies this week... although theres lots of fuck up stuff happening... everything seems to be back on track... i supposed... and i hope... haha...

okay... typical teenage movie... the actress... not as pretty as hilary or lindsay... she looks... not pretty... haha... im not fascinated by her... its just an okay... ordinary movie i guess... i rate this... 3 out of 5 stars... i think im being generous...

cars... haha... they have good soundtracks... although over the hedge seems to be a little funnier... but still i think this show is fabulous... great storyline... i just love it... its around 2hours i guess... i would rate this cartoon... 4.25 out of 5 stars...

2006-06-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

GREAT... THIS SEEMS TO BE THE MOST PISSING MOMENT... OR SHALL I SAY... THE MOST FUCKING FURIOUS MOMENT OF THE YEAR...

1. i cock up all my icas... when i know how to do the better...
2. projects are in a mess... i hate that...
3. thanks to jubjub...
4. my brother took my only slipper which i love the most to the army...
5. he might even spoil it... great...
6. some family issues...
7. keyboard date due tomorrow...

and the list will just go on if you want me to continue...

2006-06-01T22:39:00.000+08:00

YES... FINALLY IM DONE WITH MY FUCKING DRIVING... AND THE TP DATE IS ON THE 30 AUGUST... HAHA... so damn long... ong yutings going to pass before me i guess... and i guess xueyans nearby as well...

anyway... IM CONTACTABLE AGAIN... FINALLY MY HPS BACK...

2006-05-28T12:48:00.000+08:00

at work now... dreaded...

wednesday... 24 may 2006
i went down to qiang house after work... jack last minute rushing down made me wait for me for like half hour doing practically nothing... what the hell... anyway... was doing some research on ipp and effective writing project... headed to yishun to watch x men 3... haha... my treat for the coming birthday boy...

well... i can say... there are some unexpected scenes... like i didnt realise xavier was going to die... and i was kind of glad cyclops died... haha... nevermind... overall... not bad i would say... kittys cute... 3.5 out of 5 stars i would give...

after the movie was like rushing our stupid effective report writing till the early morning... all 3 of us have yet to touch at all...

thursday... 25 may 2006...
was late for school... couldnt wake up when i only slept for like... 2hours... went driving with jack after school... and got our ass down to marina square to buy qiangs bag... after which... met the rest together with qiang for dinner at a thai restuarant... poor jack couldnt take chilli... haha... anyway... celebrated his birthday with alcohol... and smashed ice cream cake... played the usual... and home...

people present were... meibao... con... meixian... weishan... kexin... yonghui... keemeng... liqin... taida... and jqk... haha... at esplanade...

wasnt able to show pictures... cause i cant seem to find any... haha...

friday... 26 may 2006...
happy birthday asshole... and thanks for letting me sleep less than 6hours in 2 days... haha... got up late and rushed down to sentosa... okay... let the pictures do the story telling... haha...

i was buried... with big breast and long dick... what the fuck... by girls somemore...

sand castle we built... while waiting for the rest to come...

this is his beautiful cake designed by me... haha... or shall i say... sabo by me... look nice huh...

okok... then i gave him a birthday kiss... haha... happy birthday... yameh went totally nuts seeing it...

we spend the rest of the time doing photo shoots... haha...

we ended around 1600... and headed back home while i n jack went driving... thats the end of qiangs celebration... which i accompany that fool for like 3 days... so did jack...

2006-05-24T15:55:00.000+08:00

FINALLY... IM DONE WITH THE STUPID ACCOUNTS... but then... i guess there are still lots to come... told my mom i would want to touch any of it... BUT THEN I DONT HAVE A CHOICE... SADDED...

anyway... sitting around in the office getting myself nuts help me earn some cash... i dont really mind... haha...

Over The Hedge... this show is hilarious... haha... damn cute... and you know what... the stupid RJ racoon... reminds me of CJ... haha... the actions... and the play dead white rat reminds me of yameh... because hes so damn chicken... haha... anyway... i give this show 4 out of 5 stars... i just simply enjoy cartoons...

2006-05-19T12:10:00.000+08:00

HELP!!!

MY BRAINS BURSTING... NO MORE SUBSTANCE INSIDE TO FINISH UP THIS PILE OF WORK... haha... actually... the reason is because... THERES TOO MUCH TO DO... AND TOO LITTLE TIME... IM WORKING IN HELL...

i havent been sleeping much since day i returned from Genting... was working on wednesday... decided to go dinner with jack mad joanne and angelia at yishun... was too last minute that i didnt even bring any cash... nevermind... was too late to return to office... so i stayed back for drinking... same situation... but not as bad as CNY... haha... had dinner or rather supper at Shell... sadded right... haha... went home and waited more than half hour cause my bro actually forgot to come down and unlock the door... crap...

went to school the next day with a little hangover... but was feeling so much better during the late morning... ok... went out with jubjub to watch Da Vinci Code...

Hey... this shows cool... but u must really be awake to watch it throughout to understand the whole picture... i rate this movie... 4 out of 5 stars... but then... reading the book would be much more interesting... haha...

2006-05-17T16:47:00.000+08:00

oh my god... im never ever going to complete these bullshits that are right in front of me... dreaded... tired... sleepy... dads stuffs are seriously in a mess... im overtiming tonight... thats for sure... but first... i need to take a break from the thick stacks of papers...

anyway... went kboxing yesterday with joanne angelia jack and qiang... had lots of fun... playing stupid games... eating lemons... singing... duet competition... jumping... and breaking of glass... haha... after that... jack came to my house and drink... and i didnt even realise what time i fall asleep... was too exhausted i guess... haha...

that asshole didnt hug me that night... finally for once... haha... you want to know why... cause we slept in different rooms... he actually went up to the guest room... mmm...

2006-05-15T00:01:00.000+08:00

well im back from genting... im not enjoying it one bit... maybe a little... but theres more displeasing moment compared to enjoyment...

12 may 2006... friday...
mom nag... brother nag... father nag... early in the morning... came to know i actually wasted 400bucks instead of only 150bucks... guilty enough... got prepared to be nagged and questioned by relatives... in the end it really did happened... i could only bury myself in the book im reading... angels and demons... thanks for the continuation of spoiling my day...

13 may 2006... saturday...
malaysians service really... serious... pissed me off... they sucked fucking big time... i cant stay that kind of fuck up service... what the fuck... if im the fucking boss of genting... i make sure you guys all get SACKED... WHAT KIND OF FUCK UP SERVICE ARE YOU PROVIDING... some got really scolded by me... too bad for you... im not in a good mood anyway... some miscommunication got all of us scolded again... still my day suck...

14 may 2006... sunday...
again the fucking service... nevermind... some irritations throughout the ride back... whatever... jubjub just showed me attitude... great... fuck all this... im sleeping... nights...

2006-05-12T05:29:00.000+08:00

heading to genting in like an hour time...
not looking forward to it...

1. all the cock up situations... whereby no one was able to accompany me go...
2. the seat is still available... therefore... 150bucks wasted... thanks to me...
3. got seriously nagged by mom
4. brother was being such a jerk to continue to nag at me...
5. had a fight with jubjub yesterday again...
6. i got a B for tep which totally spoilt my entire mood...

its irritating enough... usually when this kind of situation appears... im usually able to solve all this fucking shits... but not this time... i lost... whatever... not in the mood...

back by sunday night...

2006-05-11T00:54:00.000+08:00

FIRST... IM UNABLE TO CONVINCE JACKS DAD TO ALLOW HIM TO GO TO GENTING WITH ME... THEN I CHECK MY TEP RESULTS... ALL MY HARDWORK AND WORKING LIKE SHIT JUST LEAD TO A B... THANKS ALOT... GPA JUST REMAIN THE FUCKING SAME...
WHAT OTHER BULLSHITS HEADING MY WAY... FUCK...

2006-05-10T11:21:00.000+08:00

at times i was thinking...

why are humans born smart... this would only make them despicable... selfish... calculative... etc... the list will never stop... never will one person be innocent for his or her entire life... unless they stay as a kid forever... everyone bound to gossip behind other peoples back... or worse... backstab...

thats why... at times... i doubt there is a need to be upset when you realise your friends are actually gossiping about you... i mean... think about it... you must have did the exact same thing to another friend...

humans are born just to destroy earth... but seriously... we are the most dirty... and useless creatures on earth... we never ever contribute to earth... but only contribute so as to gain benefits... so people... just admit it... we are all selfish creatures... haha...

im having a break from work now... 10more lessons for driving... im looking forward to passing everything...

2006-05-03T11:07:00.000+08:00

school starts yesterday... it was fun... haha... it feels good to see all familar faces... but dont get to see them as often as when i was in tep... i do miss all the fun in tep... especially those pals that i made... haha... since school has started... im stuck with my brothers again... thats cool... haha...

anyway... im going to get my driving done as soon as possible... counting down... left with about... 11 more lessons to go... haha... went for 1 yesterday... another one later... driving... im going to finish it this time round... must must must...

schools real fun... haha...

2006-04-27T16:53:00.000+08:00

ok... im taking a short break before getting myself involved with all the data wordings again... haha... well... celebrated miss bimbo veronica lims birthday yesterday...

started of searching for her cake... trying to get there on time... standing in a straight line... shouting out... HAP-PY-BIRTH-DAY-TO-YOU... followed by eating of cake... making her drink... then clubbing... yar... basically just enjoying the whole early morning till 0330 cause CJs not willing to leave yet...

expected the hangover in the morning... and my instinct came true... slept for less than 4hours i guess... now im at work... and i have training in an hour time... great...

veron hasnt thank me yet...

2006-04-24T09:39:00.000+08:00

got my hair cut yesterday... once again... i change my hairstyle... qiang saying that i change too often... but nevermind... i cant wait to show it off... a short description... my hairs short... i look nerdy... and its black... haha...

anyway... verons birthdays coming real soon... shit... broke... i get to let people see my new hair... im at work now... bored... and the worst... im having a really bad stomach lately... haiz...

2006-04-21T11:44:00.000+08:00

im really bored now... crap... the worst is that i cant even call out... haiz... it seems so caged and watched... haha... anyway... i actually want to keyboard now... i miss keyboard... i think im a little nuts... i can just start composing now... but i need my keyboard... haha...

im so sick of driving... i sincerely dont feel like going at all... haiz... just another 10 lessons... get it done and over with... by next week... i try... im tired of seeing the stupid car... haha...

broke broke broke... i need money... i need to shop... i need it for fun...

2006-04-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

watched this show at 2110... another superb movie that cant be missed... the dancings great... a little draggy at parts... but still... i love the trio dance... haha...

i rate this... 4 out of 5 stars... haha... 3.75 to be more exact...

well... today is the day where jubjub and i only spend an amount of like 9bucks... both our cash on hands only had 15bucks in total... haha... got the movie tickets for free... special thanks to joy... its a real budget day for both of us... we even bused and trained everywhere... next time should just bring lesser cash out... that will save us real lots of cash... haha...

2006-04-17T19:39:00.000+08:00

ok... i think finally i got my sufficient sleep... been having really less than 5hours of sleep... lets start from monday...

monday... 10april...
cj veron geraldine peter came over to my house... we had our dinner done by cj and veron... helped them in their project... geraldine got a little off when we were drinking... and we only slept for 45minutes before heading to school...

tuesday... 11april...
it was yongquans birthday... so went town to celebrate with him... went home to rest awhile while waiting for those idiots to head my house... tongliang came early and disturb me... followed by terence and yongquan... slept for only 3hours before heading to school again...

wednesday... 12april...
theres keyboard... went to meet up with jubjub and veron in the night... went home early... slept for 6hours...

thursday... 13april...
last day of dmsm... we went for drinking... meifang veron cj peter edwin mel came to my house... once again... we drank... and slept only in the early morning... was disturbed by some phone calls... and i only had another 6hours of sleep...

friday... 14april...
waited for jubjub to drop by my house... then we headed to her house... followed by me returning home... dad was pissed... i slept at around 2.00am and was waken up around 9plus i guess... round it off... i had 8hours of sleep...

saturday... 15april...
went out with jubjub to watch movie... thn headed home by bus for the first time... had mahjong until 5.00am... slept at only 6.00am... and i lost 45bucks... great... woke up at around 11.00 due to cjs stupid smses...

sunday... 16april...
i went for keyboard... had dinner at chomp chomp... then went crazy with the guys... mel jieyang joy edwin cj veron... from dotaing... to walking for an hour to geylang... had dim sum for supper... and beancurd as well... only reach home at 5.30am... was scolded by mom and jubjub saying i have no limits... haiz...

in all... i slept a total of 29hours... in a week... which usually equals to my 3days of sleep...
as for today... i slept for 12hours straight... haha... i skip work... ooopz...

2006-04-15T23:13:00.000+08:00

okay... tep finally ended on 13 april 2006... thursday... which marks an end to dmsm... emrs... tprd... i was really looking forward to the ending of it... but again... i guess im really going to miss tep lots...

i had lots of fun... in emrs... with the company of the 2 woman and haikal... it was really just fooling around... enjoying ourselves... we used to have zoe... lance... and christina... haha...

as for tprd... yup... i would always find others for lunch... but its great to hang out with qq and stella... cause all we do is to scold one another... haha... though theres lots of work... but i had fun...

i would say dmsm would be the best... which makes it more memorable and unforgetable... first we had the craziest people... then we work closely with one another when we were filming... its the filming that was fun... though we really had to rush through our projects like crazy... but it was really fun... my group had began working closely to cjs group... which include pete crystal geraldine... but at times... too close... too too close... haha... its actually great working with rena and veron... shawn... yup...

there goes tep... the end... classical... here i come...

2006-04-09T16:21:00.000+08:00

this is a damn good show... i didnt know what was the show about when i step into the cinema... it turns out to be great...

the show is touching... and sad at some point of time... i give this show...

4.5 out of 5 stars...

2006-04-08T15:50:00.000+08:00

next week will be our final week in tep... finally its over... im tired of it... im tired of seeing my driving and keyboard leading no where... i had to do something about it... but wheres the time... i dont see any time left for myself... i didnt contact my brothers and my buddies at all... till now... i still dont really feel like... was really exhausted... i miss jack... qiang... but im lazy to find them... even online... im waiting for those fag to contact me... haha...

anyway... brought huishis brother for shopping yesterday after filming everything in school... chaotic... with veron berni and jubjub... he was practically pissing the girls off... and i entertained this guy till im dead dry... went for keyboard awhile... brother completed 3 songs of his own... and i have done none yet... im so lagging... the worst is hes leaving for army... i must catch up... after tep...

im totally broke... i cant go out cause i dont even have a single cent on me... i need a job... someone hurry up get me a job... money money money... haha...

well... had a big fight with her just now... everythings resolved i guess... i hate fights... i hate quarrels... its irritating... and i never win... haha... nevermind... the pleasant and peaceful days await us...

2006-04-07T02:41:00.000+08:00

well... was busy doing on our final project... filming... brochure... editing and many other stuff... was tiring... but did enjoyed it... we got to help out CJs group quite abit... constantly looking at the craps that they are taking... them scaring themselves and many more... the worst part of this week was that i had to bring kids in... which im going to bring tomorrow again... haha...

CJ peter geraldine and crystal created a mess out of the dark room today... oh my god... the room stinked and its in red or rather pink... decided to stay back and helped them out... together with mei fang and kahying... was really mopping and cleaning up the whole room until 2100... the room looks rather clean... but still not presentable... haha... went home around 2300 as we were eating at macdonald and talking craps... u guys owe us something man... we work our ass off just to save your ass... mmm...

well... once again... am i at fault... am i that insensitive... i dont know... i cant seem to be pissed for long... im feeling really bad now... this sucks...

2006-04-02T15:23:00.000+08:00

on friday... went out with my secondary school 3 best bitches... haha... its been almost 8 months since we last met... were crapping about practically everything again... with them around... endless chats... just need plenty of water... jubjub came over to esplanade to look for us... before we all headed home... its already close to 3am by then...

went for keyboard... after like 1 month... i was really lagging behind... my keyboard skills aint that bad... i hope... haha... having examination in 1 month time... and a final examination in august... am i ready for it... no im not... but i have to prepare myself for it... shit... i hate keyboard sometimes... but im starting to get really interested it in... just that i need that determination... and crop out my laziness... haha... tep starts tomorrow... fuck... this sucks...

2006-03-29T12:43:00.000+08:00

okok... im updating my blog now... since im awake... been away for chalet for 5 days 4 nights... that seems to be the longest chalet i have been to... been really busy in dmsm... at times get to dota... and i was caught... what the fuck... how unlucky i can get... but nevermind... guess it would be a busy week when my block leave ends... haha... anyway... im damn fucking broke... always... lots of stuff to be accomplished... poor jubjub... busy at work now whereas i can just slack my ass of at home... haha...

some people are just idiots... what the hell man... sometimes i just dont feel like giving a damn about this fucking useless creep... hes just... so brainless... so stupid... so idiotic... shall not elaborate... will only caused my temper to raise...

well... thats about it... i shall go back to bed... haha...